Monday, 29 December 2008

Post Christmas Blues

I guess we all over do it at Christmas to one extent or another. I certainly did and Im paying for it now. Not in the eating and drinking department, in fact I ate very little and had only one glass of champagne, but in the cooking/cleaning/looking after everyone else department. Its not that I didnt have any help, Martin and the kids were great, all pitching in when required - but the kitchen is my natural domain as I love cooking so much and I spent most of Christmas Day and Boxing Day in it.
We had a couple of lovely days with family and friends but by Boxing Day evening I was feeling pretty awful - and looking it too according to Caroline.
On the Saturday morning I could hardly get out of bed - I was SO tired. Tired is maybe the wrong word - so totally and utterly exhausted I could hardly think straight is a better way of describing it. And more than a bit depressed.
This was most probably due to the fact that 3 of my KC 'friends' had died over Christmas - 2 on Christmas Eve and one on Christmas Day. Such a sad, poignant time of year to lose someone. The next day I was feeling just as bad, and the day after that so I just resigned myself to doing little and sleeping a lot.
The depression, or 'blues' - which is probably a better word because I recognise Im feeling a bit down, is almost certainly due to several things. Being so tired, hearing such sad news and being in the 3rd week of Sutent. I hate feeling like this, its so unlike me but I just cant seem to shake it off. So rather than trying to 'force' a recovery Im just going to be kind to myself, allow myself to feel a bit down and hopefully the fog will lift soon. Im sure it will. The trouble with me is that when Im feeling well I tend to charge all over the place doing things as I used to - and I cant do that any more. Not for long anyway. Its much better to do things slowly, at an even pace and Im starting to learn this !

New Years Eve tomorrow night - and I shall be tucked up in bed nice and early with a cup of hot chocolate so hopefully I can wake the next morning feeling much better and ready to face the New Year.
2009 - Who would have thought it ?!


Sybil said...

Dearest Jane, You sure are a wonder woman...BUT....even wonder woman MUST please be kind to yourslef and to us who love you so much and take a wee while to recharge these batteries, then come 2009 we will all regain our bounce (I'm a bit down as well) and look forward to some lovely spring days to come.
Much Love Sybil xx

LYN said...


ADB said...

You've done wonderful Jane, and know what? 2009 is followed by 2010.

mortonlake said...

you sound like me jane.when we feel good we go mad to get it done.i am the rest have come so far,2009 is just another year.and theres many more hopefully after.keep in there hun,have a few down days,to lose someone,like i did with poor little emma is so sad.but you still here.and you take care.lots of love,in awe n admiration as always,mort xxxx i bloody HATE anyone else in MY

Yasmin said...

your rest is well desreved you've had a hell of a year, and here you are on the other side.

Happy 2009