Friday, 15 June 2007


Im back on here due to several kind requests.  I must admit Ive missed writing my blog, it is an outlet for me even if I often sit here with tears dropping on the keyboard.

It IS better now though, I can think and talk about it much more easily now.  I guess thats why its called the 'Cancer Journey'.  Ive been through the full gamot of emotions.  Disbelief and denial at first.  Then anger.  Then a crushing devastation .  Now its a calm acceptance, with a few moments of despair thrown in.  I find I can even joke about it now with close friends.

It sure does make you evaluate your life.  At first there were plenty of 'if onlys' - a feeling that Id wasted so much time.  Now I count my blessings, and there are so many of them.  I actually found myself telling someone recently 'In spite of everything I consider myself very lucky'  The reason for this is I think Im in a pretty priveledged position now.  I know Im time limited so I wring the very last drop out of every experience I have now.  I sit and talk to, and more importantly, listen to the children so much more.  I look at things with a new borns eyes  Everything seems so much sharper and in focus.  I have no fear, for what is there to be afraid of?


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