Sunday, 21 June 2009
Since this photo was taken, a few weeks ago, 3 members of my family have moved away. A long way away.
James has finally, at the age of 24, left home and started on his new career. Its a big step for him, a life changing one, but absolutely the right one. I know he is worried about me but he cant spend the next *however long* waiting for something to happen to me. He has to get on with his own life. I'm so proud of him.
Grace and her Mum Sarah have moved with Tom and baby Noah up north, near Preston. Tom's parents live there in a lovely little village and they have moved into a pretty little house in the grounds. Again its absolutely the right thing for them to do. They are a proper little family now
with their own home and its a wonderful area for Grace and Noah to grow up in.
It was hard to wave goodbye to the 3 of them, even though I know we will still see them often. Sarah has been more like a daughter to me, especially since Ive been ill, and its been a privilege to see so much of Grace as she grew from a baby into a little person.
But life goes on.
Yesterday I had my 6 weekly MOT with Dr P. I was really glad to see him as Ive been getting an increasing amount of pain over the past few weeks, in my thighs (of all places) and my left hip. The pain in my thighs, in the muscles, is apparently yet another Sutent side effect (I think Ive had the full monty now!) and is pretty well controlled by taking paracetamols. As with the other side effects it should come and go. But the pain in my left hip is almost certainly due to the tumour in there. It wasn't very big on my last CT scan so it could be growing. Dr P suggested a bone scan but having had one before (its not nice and makes you radio active) I opted to wait and see how things develop. Paracetamols don't really touch this pain but I don't want to take anything stronger if I can avoid it. I'm hoping this will be like all the other pain Ive had in tumours in the past - that eventually Sutent kicks in and calms them down.
For some reason my Hb has dropped dramatically too. Its always been around 11 which is just about normal but yesterday it was 9. Under 9 and you need a transfusion. So I have until my next check up, in 5 weeks, to get it up by eating the right things. Which basically means steak and spinach (sounds good to me!)
Dr P isn't that worried (and neither am I really) I still look very well and feel well, apart from a bit of a limp !
At the weekend I start cycle 14 of Sutent - which seems pretty remarkable to me. Yes I've had a few blips along the way, mainly due to the side effects until I learn to manage them, but on the whole life has carried on pretty much as normal. A bit more than normal actually when you think of all the things I've managed to do.
Sutent has not only extended my life dramatically but improved the quality of it to the extent Ive been able to do some quite extraordinary things. Extraordinary for any 50 year old woman let alone for one with terminal cancer. And I'm so grateful for this - if it all ended tomorrow I would have no regrets, I have so much to be thankful for.
I would rather it didn't end tomorrow however as on Tuesday we are off on another cruise ! We are off to the Med. again but this time taking Edward and a friend of his, Matthew. This is a treat for Edward as he has just finished his GCSE's and although we don't know his results yet he did work very hard. The men have plenty of activities planned, such as mountain biking and visiting the NuCamp in Barcelona, but for me it will be a week of rest - and eating steaks and spinach !
(I'm sure there must be some iron in chocolate too?!)