It hurts - oh Lord it hurts. Everday I expect it to get better, for my legs to be a little bit easier. For walking to be a little more comfortable. But it isn't. They both still hurt and it takes a huge amount of effort every day to get out of bed and get my legs moving. It's SO tempting to stay there, all nice and warm and comfortable. I really didn't expect it to be this painful for so long - although having both legs done together can't have helped.
The infection in my right leg has cleared up and the wound is slowly healing. But just as one positive thing happens another negative one comes along. This weekend I've had a pain under my right breast, where there is a tumor on a rib, which has got increasingly worse. Last night it was unbearable. Nothing relieved it. No amount of pain killers and no change of position helped. Mary came round first thing and after examining me and consulting with Dr P. they decided Ive probably got a fracture in that rib. So my morphine has been increased once again with some ibruprophen thrown in for good measure. If it is a fracture there isn't much that can be done about it - it will heal in it's own good time.
Ofcourse I immediately jumped to the conclusion that this was a sign of progression and got quite upset until Mary pointed out it wasn't. Especially as all the other tumors show no sign of growth at all. I guess I just have weak bones which break easily where there is a tumor present. On Thursday I'm going for another infusion of Zometa which should strengthen them and help prevent them breaking again.
Generally I'm feeling pretty rough. No appetite, nauseaous all the time, tired and depressed. Mary thinks I could be aneamic again and the blood tests I'll have on Thursday will answer that. But I'm not sure how to deal with the depression. Iv'e never had it before. I've always been able to look on the positive side of things but at the moment I can't because I can't find any !
Today (Thursday) Martin and I managed to get to the QE for my blood tests - despite the weather which has been dreadful here. Yet more snow is disrupting the traffic here and its so COLD outside. I don't notice it generally because I don't go out - but when I do it is freezing!! We have had snow on the ground since before Xmas and several nights the temperature has fallen below -10c. Edwards school has only closed for a couple of days which is pretty good considering a lot of schools have been shut for days on end.