Thursday 3 January 2008

Home sweet home...

The above picture was taken the day after I arrived in Brasil - and it really shocked me when I saw it.  I look so ill still, so bloated and puffy.  I really didnt want to put it on here, vanity and all that, but I thought it important I did.  This is the reality of living with kidney cancer and under going IL2 - you look like shite.

In fact our holiday brought a lot of things home to me - body image for one.  I really thought at my age a few scars, big as they are, wouldnt bother me. And uneven boobs. And they dont at home.  But put me in a bikini on Ipanema surrounded by gorgeous women and I shrivel.  My self confidence has taken a huge knock as well.  Although I managed to do almost everything I found it physically and emotionally exhausting - and I certainly reached my limits on several occassions.

Dont get me wrong - we had a fabulous time - but its so nice to be back home in my comfort zone, where I feel safe and secure.  I shall write about our holiday to Brasil but this isnt a 'travelblog' <sic> - its about another kind of journey altogether......

 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you look lovely ,The smile is something to see after all you have been through ..love Jan xx

Anonymous said...

Ah!  Welcome back, Jane, and thank you for the photos.  Brazil looks a lovely country.  

Anonymous said...

You look jus fab :o)   and curves rule !
Jaynee x

Anonymous said...

I think you look lovely too.