Friday, 15 February 2008

No rest....

Yesterday I was back at the QE with all the testicles.  No women yet again.  And the clinic was running 2 hours late.  I dont really mind waiting, I know how busy Dr P's clinics are, but sitting there with 20 men - all of them staring at me and wondering - gets a bit wearing after a while.  Especially when Im still feeling and looking so rough.

Anyway, I got to see the man himself eventually.  He did apologise for the long wait and explained he had 30 patients to see between 9 and 12.  No wonder he was so behind, he is so dedicated he never refuses anyone an immediate appointment if they really need one.

We had a little chat about IL2 and then I told him about the lump under my right arm.  He had a feel and said 'You have 2 lumps actually - and one is a lymph node'  Which is NOT good.  In fact its quite bad.  Actually its very bad !

The 3 of us (Martin was there too) sat there in silence for a while.  Then Dr P came out with his plan. I have 2 choices basically.  I can go onto Sutent and hope it's effective and buys me some time.  Or I can continue to fight.  I chose to fight.  So this is the plan now.  Its quite drastic, but at this stage it needs to be. 

Im going back into Christies next week (25th) for a 'booster' cycle of IL2.  Just 3 days to have as much as my body can take.

Then when I have recovered from that, about 2 weeks later, I shall have a couple of operations to remove all the lumps.  Mr F (the boob man) will do 2 of them and a plastic surgeon (not sure who yet) will do the ones on my face and head.

By the time I have recovered from the surgery I will be due for cycle 3 of IL2 -roughly the end of March.

The idea is to keep up the pressure with IL2 on the viscerous tumours and at the same time remove the skin lesions and lymph node to reduce my overall tumour volume.

Its quite daunting and quite scary to be honest - but if Im going to fight this I have to do it 100% - and quickly.

I just hope my body can take it, its been through such a lot in the past year.  I still feel strong and more determined than ever to fight this bloody disease.  As far as Im concerned Im still going for a 'full durable response' and nothing less will do.  Im not ready to go down the 'buying time with Sutent' route yet. 

Not yet.

And yesterday was Catherines 17th birthday.  So we went home and I cooked her favourite dinner - because life has to go on.



jeadie05 said...

I am so in awe of you ,what courage you show here ,I continue to pray for you ,What a fighter you are ,with love Jan xx

cayasm said...

Wow what an incredible fight your putting up and good for you, keeping you in my prayers.


pharmolo said...

Very sorry to hear of this turn for the worse, but well done for keeping up the fight. I really hope it does the trick.


faircolleen said...

I so wish I could make all this go away for you.Yes. . you have to have the booster IL2. .I know how much you hate having it but its doing you good.Good luck and best wishes    : )

mortonlake said...

 yeah,  life  does have to  go  on.    you  fight  girl.          my  prayers  are  with  you      take  care,be brave,love   mort         xxxx

pamal3 said...

Jane you are so brave. Your strength Is amazing. So sorry to hear your awful news. If I could only help you In some way or another then I would. If anyone sounds like a real fighter then It's you. You will be In my thoughts and prayers. Love Pam xx  

pamal3 said...

Sorry, I also meant to say Happy Birthday to Catherine. I hope she had a wonderful day. Love Pam xx

topazscorpio27 said...

After reading this it sounds so dumb but I'm going to congratulate you on being a guest editor's pick and invite you to my journal.  No, not the second part but the first part.  Happy birthday to Catherine!  -Dawn-

carolelainedodd said...

Congratulations on being one of the Guest Editors Picks.
Happy Birthday to Catherine.
Keep fighting.