Thursday, 29 October 2009

Can we fix it? - Yes we can !!

Today is Thursday 29th October and thanks to the kind ladies here at St, Mary's I have been allowed to use their computer and update my blog. Although there are huge gaps in my memory as to what exactly happened when I was in The Royal Orthopaedic (Martin, unfortunately for him, has a very vivid picture) I'm going to try and remember best I can.

Saturday was the first day I was aware of where I was and knew roughly what had happened. I 'came round' in my room with an absolutely exhausted looking Martin sitting next to me with his head lying on my bed. He had been sat there since Thursday afternoon (I think), afraid to leave me because I was unable to operate the PCA (patient controlled anaesthesia) which was delivering the morphine I still needed. He looked dreadful. Honestly, I know Ive said it before but my man is a hero. I'm convinced he saved my life that weekend by staying with me hour after hour, and staying awake. Goodness knows what would have happened if he had left me. Its probably a blessing in disguise that I cant remember anything that happened prior to then.

It was a small, but very clean, room I had with just about room for the 3 nurses who were standing round my bed discussing the 'traction' I needed to stabilize my leg. I didn't understand what they were talking about, plus I was still very confused and spaced out from what had happened. I kept slipping off to 'Planet Morphine' complete with some very interesting hallucinations. I think the trauma to my body hadn't helped either and I was still in shock. So I felt very vulnerable and frightened and just clung on to Martins hand for dear life.

Martin did understand, however, the importance of stabilizing my leg, of keeping it as still as possible, as this would reduce and control the excruciating pain I was still experiencing every time it was moved even a fraction.

Mr Tillman, the orthopaedic surgeon, came to see me then and explained the procedure he intended to perform to 'fix' my femur. This would involve inserting a specially made plastic and silver 'rod' into my left femur where the bone had crumbled. It would take a week to 10 days to make this special 'rod' to my measurements and in the meantime I would stay in hospital on traction.
A week to 10 days???

Still, there was nothing I could do about it and I brightened up when told I would be transferred to St Marys on Monday and so spend most of the time there.

So, back to this 'traction' and what it would entail. Nothing surgical, a tight bandage would be wrapped around my leg from top to bottom and a weight attached to my foot to hold it straight and stop the bone fragments from grating against each other - a really, really unpleasant sound !! I was told it may prove a little painful when first done (understatement of the year!) but should be easier from then on as it would need repeating daily.
The first time was, quite frankly, a complete nightmare. Even though I still had enough morphine in my system to drop a fully grown elephant the pain from the bone fragments rubbing together soon had me screaming and crying and mauling poor Martins hand. It seemed like ages but within a few moments the traction was on and the relief I felt was instantaneous. At last I could relax a bit and Martin could go home for a well earned shower and rest.
We thought the worst was over but there was still more to come.....


10 comments:

oldbatx said...

Dear Jane - My heart goes out to you and the family during this most terrible of times for you. There was I moaning about the side effects of Sutent and then when I read your blog I felt so guilty. I admire your spirit and determination in fighting this awful disease and if anyone can beat it you surely can. You are an inspiration to the rest of us with MRCC to keep fighting. We all send wishes and prayers for your speedy recovery and release from pain asap. Keep your pecker up as I know you always do. Lots of love. Jean xxxx

Jackie said...

((hugs and more hugs)) gentle hugs hope you are now more comfortable Jane.
Jackie xx

Andy said...

I can not put into words my thoughts about how courageous you are. You are an inspiration to us all
Andy

Sybil said...

My Dear Jane,
I am so so glad to see you have come on yourself to reassure us that you are safely ensconced at the hospice. I have such faith in the staff there that I am sure they will handle you with the greatest of care and will as much as possible alleviate your pain. Team Jane are all out here behind you every step of the way.
God Bless, try to keep smiling as we know you will,
Good night,Love Sybil xx

ADB said...

I'm relieved to find you back posting, Jane, although your story does not make for easy reading. Few of use can imagine the agony you are going through, and Martin deserves each and every credit for standing by you. Either of you, keep us posted. Wishing you continued strength,

Guido

pam said...

Hey Jane. It Is so good to have you post again. I really hope you get relief from this pain soon. I think Martin Is a true Hero and I could tell that through his writing!! Clever old me! lol. I hope you get all the nicest of treats available while you recover. Always thinking of you Jane, usually In the mornings when I walk to work listening to my mp3 I drift and wonder how you are. After hearing about your long wait for the x-ray etc. I had smoke belching off my trainers, powerwalking to work!! lol. Take Care Jane. Keeping you close as always. Love Pam. xx

mortonlake said...

no words. you just stay in there jane.martin is gold.not many like him. ok there is me lol.you take care my friend,love mort xxxx

Lori said...

Good to see a post from you but so sorry for what you've been through. I'm so glad you had Martin there with you and hope the healing is quick.

LYN said...

BREAKS MY HEART TO HEAR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ADMIRE YOU SO MUCH...YOU ARE SUCH A WARRIOR!! MARTIN HAS DONE YOU PROUD...BLESS HIM...KEEP US POSTED...

alexei.pushkin said...

I am so sorry to read of your pain, how wonderful Martin is. Hope so much that once installed in hospice you'll feel better.