I feel as if Im sitting in No Mans Land. Not sure whats happening or which way to go. I still havnt heard from Christies, Im not sure if thats a good or bad thing, but Ive been filling my time reading up on IL2. Im quite sure that IS a bad thing. The more I read the more scared I get. The most information comes from the US where it is routinely used for suitable patients. Here in the UK its rarely used, mainly because of the care costs involved, keeping a patient in ITU for weeks (good old NHS - all down to money yet again)
And ofcourse our holiday is rapidly approaching - 6 weeks away now. The one thing I have learned from all my research is that if I have IL2 soon there is no way I will be fit enough to go. NO way. I need this holiday. We all do. And its more than just a holiday - I havnt seen my brother for 6 years, and Ive never met my nephew. And this may be my last chance. So....can I postpone my treatment till I come back? It would only be by a few weeks. I know Dr P said now is absolutely the right time to have it, whilst Im so well and my immune system seems to be working well - horn still gone etc.. but surely a few weeks wont make much difference? Psychologically it would be better and hopefully my physical condition wont have deteriorated - I may even come back stronger.
Can I afford to take the risk and wait?
And if I decide to have IL2 before - I may never get to go.
Ive had a little bit of good news. My application for Sutent is being reviewed on 13th November - and Dr P is very confident it will be approved. Once it is approved he can prescribe it whenever I need it. So if IL2 fails, or I cant withstand the treatment, I shall have that to fall back on immediately.
Martin checks me regularly for lumps - as he was intructed to by Dr P. He seems to quite enjoy this and I have to admit Im partial to it too. He got all excited the other day when he found one on my little toe - but it turned out to be just a corn (phew)
So....back to No Mans Land - and waiting......