Wednesday, 24 October 2007

The 'R' word.

Ive resisted writing this because to be honest Im scared of tempting providence.

But, as this is a comprehensive account of my illness - and it is 'mine', everyone is different, I have to really.

Something very strange is happening.  Last Friday, all of a sudden, I felt incredibly well.  Just like flicking a switch.  I felt, well 'normal'.  No aches, no pains no 'grotty under the weather' feeling.

Then on Saturday that wonderful monthly experience we women have returned.  An event in itself because I had been told their absence was due to my being so ill.

At the same time I noticed my 'horn' was shrinking - at first I thought I was imagining it or it was wishful thinking, but its the size of a pea now - hardly noticable.

Anyway, I mentioned it to a couple of friends who have a lot more experience than I do in KC and they both mentioned the 'R' word - Remission.  Apparently even though it is a very rare occurance there are well documented accounts of spontaneous remission from advanced KC.  Sometimes only temporary, occasionally complete.

Im trying not to think about it - but I still feel really well. 

I havnt heard the final results from Manchester yet and Im due to see Dr P next Tues so it will be interesting to hear his take on this.  I think I need another CT.  I really dont want to start any treatment until I know exactly whats going on.

I dont make things easy for myself do I ?

Ps...I havnt bought the pyjamas yet

Catherine and Grace


mentor4wealth65 said...

"Im trying not to think about it - but I still feel really well"

Absolutely the wrong thing to do, in my opinion Jane. Focus on what you want, which is to feel perfectly healthy and well. Imagine what that will feel like at least twice a day. Really give yourself the feeling that you are already there and enjoying the benefits of wonderful health. If you do that, then that is what you will attract into your life.

Keep up the fantastic work,


spriteverdixx said...

There is a difference between foccusing on what I want and being unrealistic though David.
Being positive is one thing - being in denial is another.
I cant afford to let myself build my hopes up yet again, with no real evidence, only to have them dashed later.  Its just too devastating and exhausting.
So I will just wait and see - and stay as positive as I normally am .
Thanks x

mentor4wealth65 said...

"I cant afford to let myself build my hopes up yet again"

I can understand why you feel that way, and it's very easy for me to say different when I am not facing what you are facing. I don't want to argue with you or undermine you in any way - you don't need the stress. I guess it depends what you believe.

I believe in something called the law of attraction. In simple terms it can be described as positive things happen to positive people, but in truth it is much more than that. It's logical extension is that what happens to us today is the cumulative effect of our past thoughts and feelings, and we can alter what happens tomorrow by the thoughts and feeling we offer to day. We can genuinely create our own reality, if we are disciplined enough so to do. As a former nurse you will be aware of the placebo effect and the enormous power of the mind as regards healing. So where you say you can't afford to build your hopes up, I believe we can't afford not to.


tellsg said...

I have got to your journal through a link.  Just felt that I had to say how incredibly inspirational you are.  Hugs, Tells x