So, this morning I saw Dr. P.
And then I bought the pyjamas.
I think I knew really, deep down. I think I knew it was a mistake to be seduced by the idea that I had 'cured myself'.
I bounced into his room, accompanied by a nurse, Marie, who I happen to know. I told him how well I felt, and what had happened, and how my horn had disappeared. He just smiled and said 'Yes, kidney cancer does that, its very unpredictable. But it will come back. You are a grade 4 aggressive. It will come back'
I suggested a CT and he just said 'Yes, you will need one before you start IL2'
I had a blood test - and he just smiled in that lovely kind way he has and said 'Prof Hawkins will be in touch very soon. They have the 'blocks' of your tumour now and are producing the markers.'
So I went to town and bought the pyjamas. And cried all the way home.
4 comments:
Gentle hugs, I am so sorry you were sad and cried. I hope you got yourself some really snazzy pjs. Hoping and wishing that all goes well. Tells x
I'm so sorry Sprite. I know you were trying not to be too hopeful, but I guess it's only human nature to try to grab any chinks of light you can.
Lets hope that the treatment gives you something substantial to cling to.
Compare how you feel now, versus how you felt a few days ago. Which one feels better? Which one will help your body to heal, and which one will hinder it? Hold onto your positive feelings. Your mind is an amazing thing. You can do this. Other people have done it. You can do it.
I am sending you some positive energy right now.
David
You are crying ,but bless you you still have your sense of humour ,would have liked to see a pic of your jammies ..love Jan xx
Post a Comment