Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Night Angels......

I'm still not sleeping too well.. For some time I've been waking in the early hours, unable to get back to sleep for ages.

But recently things have changed - I wake because of the very strange, very vivid dreams I've been having lately. For a good few moments I'm very disorientated - unable to distinguish between dream and reality..

This was quite frightening the first few times it happened. But by now the night staff are used to 'them' and 'me' and 'bring me round ' gently.

Thank goodness they are here. It would be horrible at home on my own! And not to say dangerous as the first thing I try to do is get out of bed - with legs that wont work !

The cause of these dreams is the heady cocktail of drugs I'm taking, especially the steroids plus all the stress I'm under.

The night staff are wonderful - they sit and talk to me quietly, make me a coffee and some toast and when I'm ready to sleep again they give me a lorazepam and watch whilst I nod off.

But what would I do if I were at home with no one watching me at night? For the first time ever I am happier and feel safer here than at home. For the first time ever I don't want to go home. I want to stay here, safe, with my night angels.


Ally Lifewithally said...

I am glad you feel safe where you are ~ I hope you can stay there until you feel like going home again ~ Ally x

Andy said...

Glad that you feel safe. Your feelings are understandable, when I was in intensive care I had similar treatment. They most certainly deserve the term Angels. andy x

mortonlake said...

oh jane.so sorry for you,when i was in after the heart attack,i was worried sick about mum,1 lovely nurse came and sat with me the second might for 3 hours,talking,explaining,they are angels.and you are in good hands.peaceful nights and pain free days my friend,love mort xx

Jackie said...

So glad you are finding peace with your situation Jane and not surprised at your dreams, so long as they are only dreams and not unwanted nightmares.
I don't seem to dream much at night, but when I sleep on my garden swing it seems to be a deeper sleep and one I find hard to wake from? I then dream, but of things past and of people long gone. It doesn't worry me and I hope yours never worry you.

One nurse I will never forget is Alan who nursed me through intensive care when I had my kidney op, he overstayed his shifts and wouldn't leave me,packing ice into rubber gloves to keep my temperature down during the difficult time I had to deal with then, he was truly wonderful and he was a new dad with a new baby waiting for him at home! that is true dedication to the job. They are wonderful people in every sense of the word and not always appreciated for what they do. xx