Saturday, 29 May 2010

Tears and goodbyes..

I am sitting here typing in the early hours of Sunday morning in tears and yearning for my Jane..

I received that phone call from St Mary's last night... "Mr Thompson, Jane's condition has deteriorated, we are trying to make her comfortable but you might want to come in.. "

I gathered up the James, Ed and Catherine and together with Caroline we made the worst car journey you will ever have to make.
St Mary's staff were their usual efficient self in such circumstances but then again they have had a lot of practice, unlike us. I stuck by my guns and reiterated Jane's wish for me not to take her to any more hospitals and then agreed for her to be sedated as she was becoming agitated and distressed. As the sedation was administered we just had a moment to all say goodbye. Jane managed a smile and squeezed each of our hands before settling down into a controlled sleep.

Oh Jane I love you so much, you are so brave. You have kept your dignity throughout this terrible decease I just want to take you home and keep you there forever.

James sat with her last night and now I'm going in to keep her company as her journey ends..

Martin

18 comments:

Karena said...

I can't imagine what you are going through, I am sat here in floods of tears and I never had the pleasure/ honour of knowing Jane. All thoughts and love are with you and your family xxx

Andy said...

I am so sorry to hear this latest news. You and your family must feel completely devestated. Jane was a true hero and her courage and determination has been a guiding light in my own fight against cancer. Words can not describe my feelings but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Andy

Denise_pike said...

I feel so sad, as I had so hoped Jane would feel better and stronger at home,but as you say it´s all so unpredictable and upsetting. I´m still keeping everything crossed for a miracle. Lots of love . Denise

tinkerbell said...

you are so much in my thoughts and prayers, Jane is an inspiration to so many people who love her never ever having met her I am one of these people

Aileen said...

So sad to read this morning. I have read from time to time, but never commented.Really feel for you, I'm fighting my own battle at the moment, but hoping for a good outcome. I did see Jane in 'Yours' magazine some time ago, which I still have, and will keep.

I've cried for you and with you all. So many on here have Jane and her Family in thought, and their Prayers.

Aileen

ADB said...

I am deeply saddened to hear of this further deterioration, Martin. I hope she can be made comfortable, and (perhaps too optimistically) that she will awaken feeling better. Please keep us posted.

Guido

Alexei said...

I'm so sad to read your latest post. And only Friday that Jane was posting with her accustomed humour and strength. Much smpathy and love to Jane and you and all your family.

Sugar said...

in previous comments, i have said all i have to say...as very little can be said, at a time like this.
just to let you know, i have laughed & cried with jane (& you), during her brave journey. this is a time, the tears are falling.
there are so many, all over the world, that are better for having know jane (in person & thru her blog). her journey helped many people, those she knew about, & so many more she didn't.
ea night i include her, & the family in my prayers. this morn i will light a candle & say extra prayers... that God give her peace, & you (& family) strength.
may the Lord be with you all!

Jeannette said...

I am crying over here in England this morning. My heart goes out to you all, I know what that journey must have been like. God be with you all and give you strength. Jane is one special lady.

Connie said...

May the Lord bless her and her whole family and friends at this tragic time. My heart goes out to you all.

Yasmin said...

I'm so very sorry to hear this, Jane has been such a warrior against this disease, her determination and bravery as she put herself out there to offer support and inspiration to others, and to you Martin and the kids the love and supoort you have given her is also an inspriration.

your all in my prayers.

Yasmin
xx

egtara said...

So sorry to hear of this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

joanna said...

I know what you are going through,and it is so very sad to see your loved one suffer so. I feel so very sorry for you and the Family, but Jane is an inspiration and you are her rock xx

Deb said...

May God bless all of your family...Jane has been such a HERO to all of us.
Deb

Jackie said...

Martin I'm sure you are going to be strong for Jane when she needs it most and we are all with you in this journey,sending much strength and love your way. Jane is in a place she finds reassuring and comfortable a 'home from home' she is surrounded by love and I'm sure she feels 'safe'. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. xx
Jackie

mortonlake said...

take care martin.always in my thoughts.mort

Herrad said...

Thinking of you.
Love,
Herrad

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