Monday, 24 May 2010

Pain xxxx Pain

Mostly, when pain starts creeping in and making itself at home, dealing with it swiftly and firmly is enough. Pain killers taken, position altered , then just try to relax and wait maybe 10-15 mins for them to start to work. And the blessed relief when they do.

But sometimes, and I'm not sure why, this doesn't work. No relief forthcoming. Pain intensifies. Wait maybe an hour and take some more. Maybe different ones. Wait again. A small bubble of panic starting tiorise. Wait again. Still nothing. Fear takes a grip now too. There is nothing worse than lying there in the dark in agony.

Distraction sometimes helps. Watching the TV or reading. Deep breathing, like we did in child birth, helps me a lot.. Swearing very loudly can be satisfying !!

But sometimes nothing helps - like tonight. It is now 2am, Ive had an extra 50mg morphine plus some other stuff and it hasn't worked. I cant even move around and position myself more comfortably in bed because of my right arm, so it becomes a vicious circle.

Pain + tension = Fear + more pain.

Ive always been an advocate of 'counting your blessings' - usually I can find dozens to make me smile. Last night I barely managed a couple, and that's hardly a smirk !

The pain is still there, digging its claws into me, holding on fast with its vice like grip....

It will pass. It will. Eventually. And I can relax at last. Till the next time.

9 comments:

Jan said...

Oh Jane I cant begin to understand ,the pain you are in ,but I really feel for you ,(no pun intended )I just think you are so courageous ,and yes have a good old cuss if it helps ,nothing wrong with some good old anglo saxon lingo if it distracts ,love ya Jan xxxx

Sybil said...

All I can say is shit shit and double shit it...if only words like that would make your pain disapear...
Keep strong my dear friend,
God bless,
Much Love sybil xxx

Andy said...

As Jan said there is nothing like some Anglo Saxon lingo, it may not ease the pain but it certainly eases your frustration. Seriously though I hope your pain soon passes.

Andy

ADB said...

I hope your pain has abated a little by now, Jane. Keep strong. We're here for you.

LYN said...

AWWW.. JANE..I HOPE THEY CAN GET YOUR PAIN UNDER CONTROL MY LOVE...KEEPING YOU IN MY PRAYERS..

LOTS OS LOVE..xx

啟佐 said...
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karen in ottawa canada said...

dear dear jane - i hope your docs can give you something better for these times when the pain won't play nicely. and i hope you have someone with you at 2am to help you with distraction and comfort and repositioning. don't try to tough it thru alone jane - pain is always so much worse when we are enduring it alone in the dark. let martin help you - he can catch a snooze later when you are more comfortable - now that he has time away from work. this is what he would want to do - let him. hugs and love to you, across the pond.
<3

mortonlake said...

i cant begin to imagine how bad your pain is love.i get enough,but its nothing compared to you.i really hope it abates.take care,love mort. xxxx not sure what squiggles there means by just do it hun?? come visit mine sunshine,i havent eaten a troll in ages.

Jeanie said...

Aww! Dear Jane...I m feeling for you so much!
Constant acute pain is no joke. I can remember once passing a kidney stone many years ago. I was in pain for 2 days. You my dear lady have endured your pain and distress for much too long. I hope and pray for your painfree comfort soon. Life is so unfair!
Please God that you are given peace from it from now on and that your painkillers act much faster.
Swear away to your hearts content if it helps. Wish I could reach out and hold your hand at these times. Bless you!
Gentle hugs to you.
Jeanie xxxx