Pain xxxx Pain

Mostly, when pain starts creeping in and making itself at home, dealing with it swiftly and firmly is enough. Pain killers taken, position altered , then just try to relax and wait maybe 10-15 mins for them to start to work. And the blessed relief when they do.

But sometimes, and I'm not sure why, this doesn't work. No relief forthcoming. Pain intensifies. Wait maybe an hour and take some more. Maybe different ones. Wait again. A small bubble of panic starting tiorise. Wait again. Still nothing. Fear takes a grip now too. There is nothing worse than lying there in the dark in agony.

Distraction sometimes helps. Watching the TV or reading. Deep breathing, like we did in child birth, helps me a lot.. Swearing very loudly can be satisfying !!

But sometimes nothing helps - like tonight. It is now 2am, Ive had an extra 50mg morphine plus some other stuff and it hasn't worked. I cant even move around and position myself more comfortably in bed because of my right arm, so it becomes a vicious circle.

Pain + tension = Fear + more pain.

Ive always been an advocate of 'counting your blessings' - usually I can find dozens to make me smile. Last night I barely managed a couple, and that's hardly a smirk !

The pain is still there, digging its claws into me, holding on fast with its vice like grip....

It will pass. It will. Eventually. And I can relax at last. Till the next time.